Ugh, why?!?!?!

I thought it was cute for about five seconds when Lindsay Lohan finally admitted she and Samantha Ronson were a couple last summer, but their constant bickering, drama and on-and-off-ness now always drives me crazy.

None of you probably give a rat's ass, but they broke up earlier this year, got back together, then broke up, and Lohan spent a few days following Ronson around London, England trying to get her back recently. They reunited, then broke up again... and now they're apparently back together.

Again: Ugh, why?!?!?!

There's a time to call it quits, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Source: Perez Hilton

Dear World Entertainment News Network,

Today you posted this article, which sources this Twitter account, which purports to be Dina Lohan's. This Twitter account is fake. A simple Google search would have told you that. It has been set up by a fan of the Oh No They Didn't Livejournal community.

When I first found this story this afternoon, my first thought was "Wow, Dina Lohan is one crazy lady." Upon further thought, I began thinking the posts about not having enough towels, being assaulted by hotel staff with a towel and being opposed to violence and screaming on one's Twitter for help sounded like it could be a satire on someone else's behaviour. Turns out it is.

FAIL on your part.

Frankie Goes to Hollywood are going to reform... because of a Virgin Atlantic ad.

The band, who became famous for such hits as "Relax" (infamously banned in the U.K. because its lyrics were deemed "obscene"), "Two Tribes" and "The Power of Love," are also planning to release a best-of compilation and tour in support of it.

This is all happening because "Relax" was used to advertise Virgin Atlantic airlines. Kind of ironic when you think about it!

I personally think FGTH should take their own advice on this one: DON'T DO IT!

Daily Telegraph.

Who came up with this ad? Clearly some undersexed male.

Look at this shit:



I don't know which is worse: this, or the BK Whopper Virgins campaign they were running last year.

Without you, I would never have known about this great new band, Sonic Youth, who are THIS close to making it!

Hat tip to Idolator.

Everyone always wonders why Phil Spector wears such ridiculous wigs. Now we know. This makes tiny Spector look like a troll. Poor guy.

Bat For Lashes
Two Suns
(Parlophone)
Released April 7

Natasha Khan spoke about Two Suns being about dualities of all types, be they alter egos, two lovers, or whatever else, and its music brilliantly reflects that.

Khan's songs have a starkness and simplicity about them which makes them seem minimal when they aren't, since there's tons going on in them. They sound both artificial (that's not a diss) and organic, what with their mix of keyboards and digital instrumentation and the usual guitars/bass/drums fare. It's a downright haunting album that draws a lot from the '80s and works of the past, but sounds incredibly contemporary at the same time.

There's something about the music that seems to connect it back to a time when people couldn't even record music and songs were hereditary items, passed down to offspring throughout the centuries that told stories about peoples and cultures and were a way of keeping historical record. The drums on "Glass" or "Two Planets" sound like they could be played by ancient Britons, Gaels, and Picts before the Roman invasion chanting songs to their gods. Though the opening lines to "Glass" ("I will rise now/and go about the city in the streets/and in the broadways I will seek him who my soul loveth") are taken from Song Of Solomon 3:2, Khan sings them in a way that makes her sound as if she is literally rising out of some kind of mire or mist.

But at other times Two Suns sounds as if it could soundtrack a Bronte novel set in the middle of some misty, damp Yorkshire moor or that it could be songs sun by people sailing in out of some foggy, creepy sea off the coast of a Cornish town in the dead of some rainy night. I compared Two Suns to Wuthering Heights in my review for work, and though that might sound ridiculous I still stand by it. Not only does Two Suns sound like it belongs in both the past and the present, but it's also about what it's like to love someone with your entire being and be torn apart by that love at the same time. Nothing says "Heathcliff and Cathy" more than that. (You'd of course be right if you were theorizing at this point that Kate Bush is one of her influences. "Siren's Song" sounds freakishly like Bush.)

Most importantly, Two Suns is a record about imagination. Khan's "alter ego," Pearl, contributed a great deal to the record, simply by Khan dressing up in a blonde wig and going out on the town and causing havoc and then writing about it. Khan's "strange" form of creativity probably comes from the fact that she used to be a nursery school teacher. These are songs that will take you to some dream world located in some far reach of the back of your mind. People don't dream enough these days.

Two Suns will end up being one of my most favourite albums of the decade. It'll probably be my album of the year.

Here's the video for "Daniel," and you can hear two more Bat for Lashes songs on her MySpace page.

I loved Fucked Up's The Chemistry Of Common Life when it came out last year, but I've been obsessively listening to it lately. I love the lyrics to this one:


Son The Father - Fucked Up

Leonard Cohen owns you. Rules do not apply to him.

This is the answer to everything in life.

Modest Mouse have a new single. It's called "Satellite Skin," and they performed it on the Late Show With David Letterman on Wednesday night. I'm not sure what I think of it, but then I prefer Modest Mouse without Johnny Marr anyway:

• Ancient Chinese Secret @ Cadillac Lounge (1296 Queen St. W.)
• Bane w/Cruel Hand, End Of A Year, Forfeit and Hazardous Waste @ Reverb (651 Queen St. W.)
• The Beautiful Taste w/Thrillharmonic and Needlefoot @ Rancho Relaxo (300 College St.)
• Rodney Brown @ Hugh's Room (2261 Dundas St. W.)
• Children Of Eve w/Dancing With Paris @ Bovine Sex Club (542 Queen St. W.)
• Jerry Leger & The Situation @ Castro's Lounge (2116 Queen St. E.)
• JT & Blank Tape Levy (ex-Staggered Crossing) w/Shoot The Cameraman, Soulstack and Edo @ Horseshoe Tavern (368 Queen St. W.)
• The Rival Boys w/Buckets Of, Bold Saber and Jasmyn Burke @ Sneaky Dee's (431 College St.)
• Sanity Amber w/A Big Dumb Rocketship and Brand New Eyes @ (735 Queen St. E.)
• The Soles w/The Dust Bunnies and Shelby Lamb @ Mitzi's Sister (1554 Queen St. W.)

Bold = recommended

"I think that's all gone too far. Like guys can just speak through a computer and out comes the perfect pitch. That's why music is in a state."
- The Smiths' original bassist, Dale, in the first interview the band gave in 1983.

This was said in NINETEEN EIGHTY THREE. Nothing has changed!

Mozzer's new album, Years of Refusal, may just be his best release since 1992's Your Arsenal. "I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris" is his best single in years, and its video is nothing short of hilarious:




Nice eyeshadow, Moz. That necklace is so very gay... <3

I do miss the gladioli, though.

As for the shirt, I'm not saying anything else except Morrissey has always had an obsession with ridiculous apparel:

I'm reading Philip Norman's new John Lennon biography, John Lennon: The Life. This has prompted me to go through all my old Beatles and Lennon CDs and listen to them. (I'm also currently in the process of re-digitizing all my music, since I just started using a new computer, so this was extra incentive.)

While I've always (unfortunately) been able to relate to "Mother," "God," "How?" and many other Lennon songs and wished I couldn't relate to them, I've just realized that my favourite, post-Beatles Lennon song is "Gimme Some Truth."

It pretty much seethes with vitriol and frustration. The rhyming scheme is also brilliant, and I can relate to the song... and I don't wish I couldn't. Lennon's not really singing about truth, but about wishing things to be different. He's actually rejecting truth (which in this case, ironically happens to be lies and everything fake) and asking for something else instead.

There are little, tiny nuances like that throughout Lennon's songs, and it's only through repeated listens that you begin to get them. That's what makes him a truly timeless songwriter. He wraps complex meanings around the simple.

I once wrote that the three people who've influenced me most in life are (in order) my father, my mother and John Lennon, and I still think that's true. Ironically, Lennon is more involved in my life than my father ever was. I'm actually not sure who's taught me more.

i think i walked by wayne petti from cuff the duke on sherbourne this afternoon.

at least he LOOKED like wayne petti.

The Lonely Island is Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, and Saturday Night Live's Andy Samberg. You might know them better as the trio who made the "Dick in a Box" video with Justin Timberlake, and last year's "Jizz in My Pants."

"I'm on a Boat" is the latest single from their Incredibad debut, which came out last Tuesday. The video is fucking hilarious, and you can check it out below: